{"id":8780,"date":"2025-02-21T11:08:51","date_gmt":"2025-02-21T09:08:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dk.com.ua\/?p=8780"},"modified":"2025-02-21T11:08:51","modified_gmt":"2025-02-21T09:08:51","slug":"humor-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dk.com.ua\/home\/humor-9\/","title":{"rendered":"HUMOR"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>S\u0119dzia do oskar\u017conego:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Czy przyznaje si\u0119 pan do winy?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Nie, wysoki s\u0105dzie. Mowa mego obro\u0144cy i zeznania \u015bwiadk\u00f3w przekona\u0142y mnie, \u017ce jestem niewinny!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>Wyj\u0105 dwa wilki do ksi\u0119\u017cyca. W ko\u0144cu jeden si\u0119 pyta drugiego.<br \/>\n&#8211; Ej, stary, jak my\u015blisz czy na tym ksi\u0119\u017cycu kto\u015b \u017cyje?<br \/>\n&#8211; No jasne, przecie\u017c \u015bwieci.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>M\u0105\u017c wchodzi na wag\u0119 \u0142azienkow\u0105 i z ca\u0142ej si\u0142y wci\u0105ga brzuch. \u017bona patrzy na to z politowaniem i pyta:<br \/>\n&#8211; My\u015blisz baranie, \u017ce ci to pomo\u017ce?<br \/>\n&#8211; Oczywi\u015bcie, \u017ce pomo\u017ce. Tylko w ten spos\u00f3b mog\u0119 zobaczy\u0107 ile wa\u017c\u0119.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>Pewien m\u0119\u017cczyzna zwraca si\u0119 do adwokata, kt\u00f3rego mu polecono:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Czy to prawda, \u017ce bierze pan a\u017c 20 euro za dwa pytania?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Tak. Jakie jest pa\u0144skie drugie pytanie ?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>Jasiu dlaczego masz w dyktandzie te same b\u0142\u0119dy co tw\u00f3j kolega z \u0142awki?<br \/>\n&#8211; Bo mamy tego samego nauczyciela od j\u0119zyka polskiego&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>Dwaj kieszonkowcy rozmawiaj\u0105 w celi:<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Widzia\u0142e\u015b jaki \u015bwietny zegarek mia\u0142 m\u00f3j adwokat?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Jeszcze nie. Poka\u017c!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Dlaczego pan nie ratowa\u0142 swojej \u017cony, gdy ton\u0119\u0142a?<br \/>\n&#8211; A sk\u0105d mia\u0142em wiedzie\u0107,<br \/>\n\u017ce si\u0119 topi? Wrzeszcza\u0142a jak zwykle.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Kochanie, wygl\u0105dasz tak, \u017ce najch\u0119tniej bym Ci\u0119 zjad\u0142.<br \/>\n&#8211; To co ci\u0119 powstrzymuje??<br \/>\n&#8211; Cholesterol&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>* * *<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ciociu, czy ty jeste\u015b aktork\u0105?<br \/>\n&#8211; Nie, a dlaczego pytasz?<br \/>\n&#8211; Bo tata m\u00f3wi\u0142, \u017ce jak przyjedziesz to b\u0119dzie niez\u0142e przedstawienie.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>S\u0119dzia do oskar\u017conego: &#8211; Czy przyznaje si\u0119 pan do winy? &#8211; Nie, wysoki s\u0105dzie. Mowa mego obro\u0144cy i zeznania \u015bwiadk\u00f3w przekona\u0142y mnie, \u017ce jestem niewinny!&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8780","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rozmaitosci"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO 4.9.9 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"S\u0119dzia do oskar\u017conego: - Czy przyznaje si\u0119 pan do winy? - Nie, wysoki s\u0105dzie. Mowa mego obro\u0144cy i zeznania \u015bwiadk\u00f3w przekona\u0142y mnie, \u017ce jestem niewinny! * * * Wyj\u0105 dwa wilki do ksi\u0119\u017cyca. 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